In this period before the start of the 2025 season, Red Bull seems to be the professor of Formula 1. Helmut Marko, Pierre Waché, and Christian Horner know everything about their rivals—life, death, and miracles. A divine gift, evidently, from Milton Keynes. Too bad that, apparently, they seem to know everything about their competitors, while this unlimited power does not exist when it comes to themselves. If it did, they would not have lost the constructors’ championship in the 2025 season, and at the same time, the learning curve to develop the RB21 single-seater might have been approached with more rationality.
We say this for a reason: the Red Bull car set to debut in the 2025 Formula 1 championship is anything but perfect. On the contrary, it carries a few too many flaws. An interesting issue and one that Max Verstappen himself has confirmed several times during the pre-season testing session. But at least the Dutchman talks about the car and not about others. For the Austrian side the main concern is the curb-riding problems that the RB21 has inherited from its predecessor. Not good news for the former world champions, which should probably focus more on internal matters rather then making predictions about their opponents.
Helmut Marko is “super-endowed”. Just to avoid misunderstandings, we are referring to the size of his intellect. That intrinsic ability to see beyond the human barriers of knowledge. Our superhero, among other things, flaunts his superpowers by mocking the rest of the world. From the heights of his immense experience, he arrogates to himself the right to pass judgment every time he opens his mouth. A real phenomenon, one we hold dear. For some time now, he has even started transferring his infinite abilities to Red Bull’s chief executive officer and team principal.
He does this because, the day he decides to retire to his home town, far from Formula 1, a worthy heir to carry forward his vision will always be at the forefront. Joking aside, Helmut Marko is certain that Ferrari is the third force in the championship. Make sure to note down this news in advance because it comes straight from the future. Didn’t we tell you? Super Marko travels through time. Last week, he moved the clock forward a couple of months, and that was it. Lucky him. Who knows if one day this fortune will be ours too?
For the sake of accuracy, it must be said that his reasoning is, according to him, supported by valid arguments. This is because he has reviewed information gathered by Red Bull during testing, which has already placed the SF-25 as a car lagging behind, incapable of fighting at the top. At least four drivers will be faster. So, Ferrari fans, get ready: accept the idea that at the 5.278-kilometre Albert Park Grand Prix Circuit in Melbourne, finishing higher than fifth place will not be possible. That’s how it is for us, tough luck…
Helmut Marko is a pleasure no one can take from us. Not so much for the things he says, because after all, all the protagonists of Formula 1, some more than others, offer their own opinions. In his case, however, in addition to always being incredibly on point, at the top of his game as Flavio Briatore would say, what stands out is the extreme authority with which he points the finger, judges, and then gloats once his superpowers have been used. An octogenarian? Nonsense… He, the super consultant for Red Bull, outshines everyone.
Last month, he spoke about Charles Leclerc. He did so by labeling the Monegasque as an inconsistent driver. Too bad his analysis forgot to go through the points accumulated in the 2024 Formula 1 championship, where Charles Leclerc, data in hand, collected more points than anyone in the second half of the season. Meanwhile, by reviewing his overall results, we see that in every race he contested in the past season, the Ferrari driver always finished in the top 5.
However, be careful, because there is another issue at stake. Even Lewis Hamilton has ended up in the crystal ball, carefully and wisely caressed by the Red Bull motorsport executive. It seems that even the British driver has been the subject of a time travel by Helmut Marko. A temporal journey that revealed the future: the Brit will be crushed by Charles Leclerc. Essentially, the early retirement of the seven-time Formula 1 world champion is on the horizon. Fans of the Englishman, be patient, but it would be better to start getting the idea that the performance of the former Mercedes driver will never match that of his Maranello teammate.
Again, he tries to justify himself and argues that Lewis Hamilton’s overall experience in Formula 1 cannot surpass that of Charles Leclerc with Ferrari. Therefore, it is not going to work, Lewis Hamilton supporters. We are sorry, but there is nothing different we can assert here. To conclude: beyond the enjoyable amusement, great joy, and triumph in mocking Helmut Marko, we must thank the Austrian for the entertainment he provides us. One last thing: Uncle Helmut, maybe just every once in a while, just to show that you put in a bit of effort… think before you speak.
— see video above —
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